Testing 1, 2, 3. Mike check. Hello? Testing.  <* clears throat *>

Ladies and Gentlemen! Your education has certainly suffered during the past 8 years. But I’m here to change that…. bringing what’s called NEW MATH to Washington, where 4 million lost jobs equals a gain of 2 million (saved or created, or saved, or created, or created/saved), where taxes raised on health care, cigarettes, and the repealing of the Bush tax cuts equals a tax break on the middle class. Where thousands of government employees now making for the first time over $175k equals cutting back and reducing the deficit, while the debt ceiling has been raised (hallelujah) to over 14 trillion. And did I mention that bankers (one industry making a profit) are evil?

2 3 4

I’m gonna blame Bush forever, forever & ever amen
As long as old men sit & talk about the weather
As long as old women sit & talk about old men
If you wonder how long I’ll be blaming him
I’ll be happy to tell you again
I’m gonna blame Bush, forever & ever, forever & ever amen

You may think that I’m acting foolish
You’ve heard that I’m new & I’m green
You may wonder how I can promise you now
We’ll spend a trillion dollars while we still owe three
And it’s not my blood that is spilling
When I give up memos of the CIA
It’s not my money that I will be spending
On every left-wing program that enters my brain

one more time

I’m gonna blame Bush forever, forever & ever amen
As long as old men sit & talk about the weather
As long as old women sit & talk about old men
If you wonder how long I’ll be blaming him
I’ll be happy to tell you again
I’m gonna blame Bush, forever & ever, forever & ever amen

Okay – are we done here? Can we just let the computer deliver the speech next time? All the words are in there already, so why do I have to actually speak them? I’ll form a committee to look into that. Thank you very much.